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Rage-Reading Einstein After My Parents Died 27 Days Apart

"Let me bend the time-space continuum/cut the tether that ties me inside my skin"

Published onJul 30, 2023
Rage-Reading Einstein After My Parents Died 27 Days Apart

Photo by NASA:

If each moment encompasses all time –
let me lose the constraint of this body
leap into the galaxy
cross dimensions as an astronaut blasts
through earth’s atmosphere
or an ant crosses the shortened string.
Let me bend the time-space continuum
cut the tether that ties me inside my skin
and touch their hands once again.
I want to co-exist within other worlds
that flash in the corners of my eyes,
mingle with molecules that shift
to make space for unseen density.
Lately, I’ve been looking into the night sky, searching
for two new stars born of gas and dust.
Maybe one day my core will become hot enough
to ignite fusion and I’ll be reborn too,
my leftover particles becoming dust tumbling across the universe
as dust to dust I return.
Light from distant stars takes time to travel –
I see their light within my darkness
but they are always there, always have been,
like the lost, our dead. Like fog around a street lamp,
death covers their light only momentarily.
In December, within the nanosecond between the light leaving
their eyes to touch my face,
they changed. Everything changed.
I want to breathe again within that nanosecond,
to inhale the gaze that escaped that day. And yet…
here I stand, feet solidly on the earth,
while all around me centuries of sorrow
swirl throughout the firmament
and black holes swallow stars within the whole
of a single breath.
This morning I shook my fists at G-d –
not because of death,
but because gravity is heavier
than my imagination or star dust.

Margaret Anne Kean received her BA in British/American Literature from Scripps College and her MFA from Antioch University/Los Angeles. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in, Eunoia Review, Drizzle Review, EcoTheo Review and Tupelo Quarterly. She is collaborating with a Portland, Oregon composer to set a tanka series. Kean lives in Pasadena, California.

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