Crystal Teardrops

The Giver of Light looked at the images of the tears under the microscope. The tears of grief remind her of a terrain strewn with mountains and hills. She viewed the next image and made note how the chemical composition had a natural painkiller called leucine enkephalin. It was time to descend.

This cannot be happening to me again. Her hands shook with fear as she read the email and willed her soul to settle, but that was almost pointless. Although her heart was racing, she closed her eyes, took deep breaths, and focused on centered breathing. Her head lifted, but she didn’t want to open her eyes. Instead, she sought for a glimpse of sunlight to grace her closed eyelids. All the pent-up weight of emotions buried inside her shoulders. You are not going to take over my personal happiness and health. I decide how much this shapes me. I decide what to do moving forward. Songbird decided it was time to run.

Don’t tell, but it’s over. The door is closed. These words continued haunting her spirits, but she kept running. Maybe she could outrun the bad dream she seemed to be living. It wasn’t a dream though. She texted her therapist and asked for an appointment. Everything was too much to handle. Songbird needed some water and rest for just a bit until the shock wore off.

She’d finished marathons in the past, but today’s 5-mile run seemed more exhausting than those previous feats. After cleaning up and drinking some water, she let herself collapse into bed. Pulling her satin duvet over her shoulders, she allowed herself to be sealed into its comforting warmth. Exhaustion soon won and she fell asleep.

Sitting up quickly, she felt confused and liberated. She lifted her head and as far as her eyes could see, she was sitting in a field of white narcissus flowers. The sky was clear blue and there wasn’t a cloud to be seen. There was a calm breeze, and she inhaled the fragrance of the flowers. Praying softly to herself she said, “Giver of Light, please lead me to the path of defense, faithfulness, good wishes, hope, protection, respect, and abundance.”

In the middle of nowhere with no one, there was a sense of calm that entered her soul. With the peaceful surrounding, her spirits lifted, and she stood up and began spinning around looking up at the sky. Standing, she spun around until she was dizzy and fell into a heap of flowers.

A woman wearing all white appeared in front of her. The woman was regally dressed and wore a white veil. Although Songbird couldn’t make out her entire face, she could see the form of a smile shining through. The woman in white came closer and cupped Songbird’s face in her hands. Songbird couldn’t explain how she knew, but she greeted the woman by reverently whispering, “Giver of Light!”

The being smiled and nodded in acceptance. Taking Songbird’s hand she said, “Follow me.” Together they walked hand in hand through the fields until they reached a blue door. The regal woman opened the door and motioned Songbird to enter inside. Songbird looked around in amazement. The place was simple, but beautiful. They walked through the small entry way into a wide-open sunroom. The glass windows let in the sunlight and the ceiling was made of thousands of tiny crystals.

Songbird marveled at the delicate work and looked questioningly at the being. The Giver of Light spoke calmly, stating, “The ceiling is made of your transformed tears. All the tears of suffering and even the tears of joy were captured into tiny crystals. We built this resting place for your soul. You are learning to let go of what you cannot control. You are learning to love yourself. You are learning what it means to find joy. You are learning that being beautiful is comprised of the realness of your heart. This is your dwelling place. A place where you can sit in the sunlight. A place to gaze up at the tears of life and realize they weren’t pointless. You can soak in the beauty and relax in the solitude. It takes time, but my Songbird, you are well. You are a work of art. You are whole. You are enough. You are beautiful. You belong. You are loved.”

Tears streamed down Songbird’s cheeks and as they fell to her lap, she saw a pile of iridescent crystals forming in her lap. She began laughing through her tears and sat soaking in the words of the regal woman. The woman smiled and placed her hands on the top of Songbird’s head. “Come back when your soul needs solace, but you can’t stay here. You were meant to shine. The world needs to see you. Share your story. Encourage others who have filled their own rooms with tears. Live fully. Live centered.”

Songbird bowed her head to accept the prayer of blessing. When she lifted her head, the being was gone. Songbird snuggled up on the aquamarine sofa and fell asleep. When she awoke, she was back in her home. It was time to be strong. It was time to face the day. She looked down at her chest and saw a heart shaped necklace filled with delicate, bright crystals. She realized a piece of heaven had visited her that morning and she now had some way to hang onto it as she continued moving forward.

Jessica N. Arzola-Grissom lives in a small Texas town with her husband and son. Her writing has appeared in various print and online publications including The Image, Logo Sophia, Valiant Scribe, Reedsy, Digging Press, and Latine Lit. In 2022, her poem “Adventura,” won 2^nd place in the Irene Emmerson Poetry competition. “The Rainbow” recently appeared in the anthology titled Scars.